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There are various reasons why many couples
prefer to receive money instead of gifts. You already know that
the invitees will most likely bring a gift, so why not just ask
them to bring cash instead? Wooo, wait a minute!
Honestly, there isn't a nice way to ask for
money instead of gifts. You can do it if you insist on being
tactless, but some people will be terribly offended.
You shouldn't try to direct your guests' generosity in advance
to something you want instead, whether it's cash or anything
else--as if you are entitled to gifts of your choice (or to
gifts at all, for that matter).
It is considered bad manners for the bride and
groom to mention anything in writing, such as placing a note in
their invitations, indicating that they want monetary gifts, or
where they are registered. It is presumptuous of the couple to
tell guests what they expect or to imply that a gift is expected
at all! Remember, this is not about the gifts or the money, this
is a party celebrating your love and union, not a gift grab. If
you get something you don't want, too bad (it should only be the
worst problem you ever have!). It is up to the guests to do what
they want. Many guests, of course, want to know what would
please the couple most, but ultimately every gift is voluntary,
let alone size and type of gift.
Word of mouth through friends is the only
appropriate and tasteful way to inform guests about your
preference to cash rather than gifts. Even then, it is only
appropriate to mention it if someone asks where the happy couple
is registered. Get someone responsible and tactful, such as your
parents, to discreetly spread the word around about the intended
purpose for your wedding cash. This keeps things low-key and
helps to let people know what the money will be used for.
Example: you'll be pooling your wedding money to furnish your
new home or to pay for a better honeymoon. Guests are likely to
feel more comfortable writing a check if they know where the
money is going. When guests inquire, it is okay for the wedding
party and family mention that cash is preferred, but if a guest
directly asks the bride, she shouldn't ask for money. Instead
she should say something like "a gift isn't necessary, just your
presence alone will make our wedding day happy" and if the guest
further pursues she could mention what room they're decorating
next or where they are registered.
If you do receive gifts you cannot use, either
try returning the gift, selling it, or make a generous donation
to a charity. Remember that wedding gifts are not an entry
ticket to your reception--your guests don't have to buy you
anything. And whatever you receive, whether a check or another
fondue set, accept any gifts you get graciously and write a
sincere thank you note.
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